Our Top 5 Best-Selling Products (And What They Say About You)

Our Top 5 Best-Selling Products (And What They Say About You)

We love all our products like the sarcastic, overachieving children they are—but even in a loud, curse-filled crowd, some icons rise to the top.

Here are the top five Explicit Essentials best-sellers, what makes them cult favorites, and what your favorite says about your vibe.

Let’s psychoanalyze your cart, shall we?


1. Fresh Outta Fucks Shower Steamers

Scent: Tropical Refresher
Why it's great: It’s pink, it’s powerful, it’s the bath bomb’s cooler cousin that doesn’t require a damn tub. Just drop one in your shower and suddenly, you’re breathing like you haven’t had a meltdown in three days.

If this is your fave, you’re probably:

A high-functioning hot mess

A spreadsheet queen with a soft spot for chaos

Really good at giving advice you don’t follow


2. Fucking Exhausted Body Lotion

Scent: Black Currant + Rose
Why it's great: For skin that’s been through it. Thick, luxe, with a subtle shimmer and a whole lotta truth. It’s for when you want to feel fancy but also deeply seen.

If this is your fave, you’re probably:

Running on caffeine and spite

Soft-hearted but deadpan as hell

One emotional support water bottle away from a breakdown


3. Humidititties Underboob Powder

Scent: Light Lavender
Why it's great: Talc-free, aluminum-free, boob-sweat-obliterating magic. A summer essential and year-round hero for those of us with generous assets.

If this is your fave, you’re probably:

Tired of society pretending underboob sweat isn’t a crisis

Hilarious in group chats

The mom friend with a wild side


4. Bad Ass Bitch Lotion Trio

Scents: Lavender Mint (Bitch Relax), Hibiscus Citrus (Fresh Outta Fucks), Sweet Raspberry (Bad Ass Bitch)
Why it's great: Three bold scents. Three moods. All wrapped in unapologetic packaging that screams confidence. You moisturize with purpose.

If this is your fave, you’re probably:

The go-to hype woman in your circle

Equal parts chaotic and nurturing

A Libra sun with a Scorpio rising and an Amazon Prime account


5. Exhale the Bullshit Spray

Scent: Eucalyptus Mint
Why it's great: One spritz and it’s like your whole nervous system unclenches. Room spray, body spray, vibe shifter. Smells like a therapist with boundary issues.

If this is your fave, you’re probably:

Spiritual-ish

Always lighting a candle before a mental breakdown

Smudged your house and saged your ex


So What’s In Your Cart?

Whether you’re loyal to one or playing the field, your favorites say a lot about you—and honestly, they all say you’ve got good taste.

Want to feel seen, soothed, and slightly less stabby? Try one of these top five and let your products match your personality.

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